As I conclude my 3 part series about sex, I want to bring up a topic that has been bothering me for a while now. The topic of Christian women being modest, but also being a freak in the bed.
A couple of weeks ago a lady at work asked me a question related to sex. As I answered her, a guy overheard me and said, “I thought you were a Christian? Christians don’t do that!” I was so upset over his comment because for years I have been judged because I’m a Christian woman, and I love sex and everything about it. I can remember the time I was in nursing school and one of my teacher’s invited me to a pure romance party. I was so excited about going because pure romance sells items that you and your spouse can use in the bedroom to spice things up, like flavored lubricants, massage lotions, etc. My mother and sister actually went with me, and at that time I received a negative comment as well. My mother’s guy friend said, “I thought Rachel was a Christian, why is she going to a sex party?”
I’m writing this post because I feel like so many people in the world have this messed up view when it comes to Christians, marriage, and sex. So I just want to make a few things clear from a Biblical perspective.
God created Sex!!!
God is the one who created sex, so why in the world do Christians feel like sex is a bad thing? It’s only a bad thing and sinful when we do it outside of God’s design for it. Sex was created for husbands and wives to experience intimacy, oneness, pleasure, and to multiply the Earth. It’s crazy to me that the people who have judged me for wanting a great sex life with my husband, are the ones who aren’t even married and are committing fornication. I have actually made the comment, “I’m married! I’m allowed to have sex!” And guess what the Bible backs my comment up! But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband (1 Cor 7:2). Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled…(Heb.13:4). Undefiled literally means pure, sinless, having no faults. That means that what you and your husband do in your sex life is pure and sacred in the eyes of God.
Christians can have fun and exciting sex lives too!
It saddens me that there are people in this world who truly believe that Christians are boring and that their sex lives are too. I bet there’s even people who believe that Christians only have sex in one position (the missionary position), and in the same place every time. Well I got news for you, there’s nothing in the Bible that says I can’t be a freak with my husband. So yes we try different positions, yes we play sex games, yes we buy stuff from the sex store to spice things up, yes I wear lingerie sometimes, and no we don’t always need a bed for sex. Christian sex lives can be full of passion and excitement too! Proverbs 5:18-19 says, “Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice in the wife of your youth, a lovely deer, a graceful doe. Let her breasts fill you at all times with delight; be intoxicated always in her love.” This scripture is talking about rejoicing, delighting, and being intoxicated with love! That sounds pretty passionate to me. Now I’m not telling you to try something you aren’t comfortable with, but if you and your spouse want to enhance your sex life and want to try something new, go for it!
There’s a difference between perversion and a healthy sex life
By no means am I encouraging sexual perversion! I am only encouraging you to have a great and satisfying sex life inside your marriage. Perversion is when you take something from what it was intended for and use it in an unacceptable way. Examples of sexual perversion would be homosexuality (Lev 18:22) (Rom 1:26-27), fornication (1 Cor. 6:9), adultery (Heb. 13:4), pornography (Matt. 5:28), and Incest (Deut. 27:22). Also as transparent as I am about the subject of sex, I don’t believe we should engage in dirty talk or sex jokes with others, for God’s word teaches us to not to talk filthy or foolish (Eph. 5:4).
If you’ve never read the Song of Solomon in the Bible I encourage you to do so. It is a series of poems written between a king and his bride. Some of the descriptions actually get pretty intense. I have made the joke before, “Who needs fifty shades of grey when you got Song of Solomon.”
So wives I want you to know you can be a lady in the streets and a freak in the bed.
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