My Husband Isn’t Everything I Dreamed Of

black-married-couple-2

Today is an emotional day for me. I’m excited because my great friend is getting married to the love of her life, but on the other hand I feel like crying because weddings bring back so many memories for me. When I was a teenager, I was just like any other young girl; dreaming that prince charming would come sweep me off my feet and we would live happily ever after. But the truth is I didn’t marry a perfect prince, my husband isn’t everything I wanted in a man, and I’m okay with that.

Over the past few years, I came to realize that marriage is about much more than just fairy tale weddings, looking for the perfect person, and being happy forever. Marriage is what challenges us to become more and more like Christ every day. It’s the main relationship in our lives that teaches us how to love, how to forgive, how to be merciful, how to let go of pride and anger, and how to serve. I can honestly say that I would not be the woman I am today if I wasn’t married.

I can still remember the look in my husband’s eyes when I walked down the aisle on our wedding day. He made me believe that I was the only woman in the world that mattered to him, and he would never do anything to hurt me. I dreamed from that day forward that our lives would only get better, and nothing would stand in our way. But now almost 10 years later, I know the truth. The truth that I married a broken person, a flawed man, one that battled with pornography, lust, and addictions that I never knew about. I’ve had to learn to love my husband through all of that, and I’ve had the privilege of watching him become a new creation through Jesus Christ. Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation (2 Cor 5:17).

Some people think that because I have a marriage ministry, and my husband has changed that my challenge is over, but that’s so far from the truth. My husband is a better man now, but he’s still not perfect. He’s still lazy at times, cusses at times, he doesn’t always help around the house, and there are days he doesn’t want to go to church. I’m not telling you all this to make him look bad, but that so you can understand that I’m just like you. I’m married to someone who will always be imperfect in some way, but that will always challenge me to remember this phrase, “What would Jesus do?”

I don’t love my husband based on how good he is, or what he does for me, I love my husband based on what God’s word says. I treat him as if he’s the husband I always dreamed of, although he’s not. This doesn’t mean I’m a fool, it means that I’m a wife that understands that I’m not perfect either. As it is written: “There is no one righteous, not even one; (Rom 3:10). I’m sure my husband dreamed of a wife that cooked a home cooked meal every day, that never let the laundry get behind, that didn’t spend a lot of money, and one that always showed him respect. I’m not the perfect princess, and he’s not the perfect prince, but together we are a perfect example of true forgiveness, unconditional love, and mercy that lasts a lifetime.

 

Thank you for taking the time to read my blog! Please follow me on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. Subscribe to my email below to updated with future posts. Feel free to contact me with questions, concerns, or prayer requests.

Subscribe to Blog via Email

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

 

 

 

Share
Facebooktwittergoogle_plusredditpinterestlinkedinmailFacebooktwittergoogle_plusredditpinterestlinkedinmail

FollowFacebooktwitteryoutubeinstagramFacebooktwitteryoutubeinstagram

4 thoughts on “My Husband Isn’t Everything I Dreamed Of

  1. I needed this message it help me out . I believe that so many should read this because they need it as well.

  2. This is truth. Thank you so much for this. I am very encouraged by your words, especially because they are not written from a script they are written from your heart and that is powerful. Christ is our example in all things. I never looked at my marriage this way and it brings so much liberation in my soul!
    Thank you Rachel!!

  3. Rachel,
    Once again, you have reminded us that we are all flawed and imperfect human beings in need of a Savior. You’ve also reminded us that our spouse is not our Savior. Jesus Christ is the one and only savior and he paid the complete price and we can pay nothing. Yet he wants to give us everything we need in our relationships plus a home in heaven throughout all eternity. What a bargain!

  4. “My husband is a better man now, but he’s still not perfect. He’s still lazy at times, cusses at times, he doesn’t always help around the house, and there are days he doesn’t want to go to church. I’m not telling you all this to make him look bad, but that so you can understand that I’m just like you. I’m married to someone who will always be imperfect in some way, but that will always challenge me to remember this phrase, “What would Jesus do?””

    Something I wish everyone could take to heart. Getting married doesn’t mean our flaws disappear, sometimes it just magnifies them. But by the same token, our expectation of marriage shouldn’t be that our flaws will disappear. It should be that we’ll work to overcome them together. And since we’re imperfect, we’ll always be working somehow. But instead we get these conflicting messages: “marriage creates utopian bliss” vs. “marriage ruins everything you had”. Being open about reality is so refreshing.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.