There’s no denying that men are very visual beings and they love to look at women. In fact most of you can probably say that the first thing that attracted your husband to you was your beauty. I remember when I first met my husband he loved my brown eyes, my thick thighs, my long brown hair, and everything about my outward appearance. Of course he didn’t marry me just because of my looks, but it definitely played a factor. Even in the Bible men were mesmerized by the beauty of women…“Rachel had a lovely figure and was beautiful. Jacob was in love with Rachel”…(Gen 29:17-18). Even Isaac feared for his life because his wife was so beautiful…“The men of this place might kill me on account of Rebekah, because she is beautiful.”(Gen 26:7).
I think it’s great that God made women so beautiful and that men can enjoy the beauty of their wives, unfortunately Satan has used it to his advantage. Every day husbands all over the world are struggling with lust, and being tempted to watch pornography, join an online dating website, connect with women on social media, or to start a physical affair. Some of you may be married to someone who is struggling with sexual addiction, and you aren’t even aware of it. For those of you who know my story, you know that my husband was addicted to pornography for years, which led him down a road of destruction and he committed adultery. For that reason I will always have a passion to help others who may be dealing with the same issues.
I know that I am not responsible for my husband’s sins, but I do believe as a wife I should do whatever I can to protect my husband.
Here are 5 ways that can help you protect your husband from lust:
1.Pray for him
Every day you need to pray for your husband, You never know what he may be battling with on the inside. Pray that he will only have eyes for you. Pray that God will give him the strength to overcome temptation. Pray that God will convict his heart of anything he’s looking at that is not appropriate. Pray that if a female flirts with him, he will not flirt back. Pray that he will live a life according to the will of God, and not the desires of the flesh. Pray against pornography. Pray against online dating websites. Pray against all sexual immorality. Prayer changes things!
2. Meet his sexual needs
When a husband is struggling with pornography or lusting after other women, the last thing he needs is a wife refusing to have sex with him. It only makes the temptation so much worse. That is why the word says, “Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control (1 Cor 7:5). It doesn’t mean that your husband has an excuse to sin if you refuse to have sex with him, but by meeting his sexual needs you can help protect him from lust. In fact I once had a husband tell me that he’s only tempted to watch porn when his wife don’t have sex with him.
3. Support him
It’s important that your husband knows you support him. It’s important for him to feel like he could come to you about anything. I used to be the kind of wife who was always judgmental. For that reason my husband didn’t talk to me about a lot of things. He was scared to tell me the sins he struggled with, in fear I would not be understanding and I would judge him. Now he knows that I support him 100%, and that if he’s struggling with something I will pray for him and encourage him. “Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed (James 5:16).
4. Share the word of God with him
I have had so many wives tell me that their husband doesn’t believe there’s anything wrong with watching pornography. Many men think as long as they look and don’t touch they are not cheating. But Jesus said, “Everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart (Matt 5:28). If you’ve studied the life of King David, then you know how his lust for Bathsheba led to many sinful acts. He committed adultery with her, he got her pregnant, and then he had her husband killed. Lust is a dangerous thing and there are consequences for sin. As wives, it’s important for us to share with our husbands what the scripture teaches about this subject.
5. Show him your inner beauty
I seen a quote once that said, “A pretty face gets old, a nice body will change, but a good woman will always be a good woman.”-Unknown. I don’t know about you but I don’t want my husband to just admire my physical appearance, I want him to admire me because I’m loving, caring, kind, generous, helpful, supportive, encouraging, and respectful. I want to be so Christ like that my husband will realize that there’s so much more to a woman than outward beauty. God’s word says, “Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised (Prov 31:30).
It breaks my heart to know that there are so many men falling into Satan’s trap every day. It breaks my heart to know that some Christian men (including pastors and leaders in the church) are addicted to pornography. I hope that all of you reading this will join me in prayer, and do whatever you can to protect your husband and your marriage from lust.
Thank you for taking the time to read my blog! Please share with a friend or family member who may be dealing with this issue right now. For prayer, questions, or concerns, please contact me via email at Rachel@transformedwife.com And don’t forget to follow me on Facebook by clicking the icon below
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